


We're your family

by real__kcv



Series: Coming to terms with who you are [2]
Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, NCT Night Night, like only for the first chapter or two, lots of gay panic from jisung, self realisation, then it will get fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-07-24 09:17:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16172153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/real__kcv/pseuds/real__kcv
Summary: Okay. Maybe Jisung was just a little gay…or very gay.________Jisung realises that he really, really likes Jaemin and is having a gay crisis so he sends a comment into NCT Night Night to get advice from his hyungs without having to actually talk to them. He didn't expect it to be answered though.





	1. Chapter 1

Jisung lay in his bed, alone in his and Mark’s shared room since 127 promotions would begin soon so Mark and Donghyuck were staying at the hyungs’ dorm. Only Jisung, Renjun Jaemin and Jeno were living in the Dream dorm since Chenle went to stay with his family again as soon as ‘We Go Up’ promotions finished. It was weird to go from the dorm being loud and chaotic 24/7 to how quiet it was now.

 

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the break though. Sure he was still filming for Dancing High but he didn’t have to fit it into a tightly pack schedule now. He could actually look forward to a program he joined to have fun and make friends. Plus, whenever he came back from filming Jaemin would always be waiting with some sort of food for him.

 

It had always been like that with Jaemin. For some reason ever since their trainee days Jaemin chose to dote on Jisung whenever he could, even if that meant just pinching his cheeks until they were red. Jisung complained every single time but secretly, he enjoyed it. It was nice to feel like a kid when he was thrust into the adult world at the young age of fourteen.

 

Not that he would admit it aloud, but Jaemin was definitely his favourite hyung. In the past, Jisung knew that whenever he was stressed or panicking about life, Jaemin would be there to listen to him and calm him down with words or cuddles. However recently, Jisung found himself wanting to get cuddles from Jaemin even when nothing was wrong.

 

When Jaemin welcomed him back from filming with a big smile and food, Jisung wanted to cuddle him to say thank you. When he managed to figure out a dance move he’d been struggling with for a while, he wanted to run to tell Jaemin and cuddle him in happiness. When Jaemin laughed at someone’s joke, Jisung wanted to hug him so tight because the sound was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.

 

At first Jisung just thought he was going through a clingy phase and did his best to ignore his constant urge to just be in the older’s presence, preferably in his arms. It worked for a while. He still wanted to cuddle Jaemin all the time but he never did anything about it. Sure it wasn’t what he actually wanted but Jisung was mad at himself for wanting to be clingy when he’d never been a big fan of skinship.

 

That day though, everything had come tumbling down.

 

The four residents of the dorm were chilling in the living room watching the Avengers which Jeno had wanted to watch for what was probably the tenth time. Renjun and Jeno were sprawled out on the floor on top of all their blankets which they had piled up to make the floor soft. Jaemin and Jisung were sitting on the sofa. Jaemin’s feet were up on the sofa, almost on top of Jisung since the sofa was so small. Jisung was doing his best to ignore that.

 

They had started the movie a while ago and were already at the part when they first capture Loki in Germany. Jisung wasn’t all that interested in the movie since he could probably recite it word for word. He had zoned out and was just staring at the picture frames on the wall behind the tv. He was snapped out of it when Jaemin laughed at something Thor had said. Jeno and Renjun had probably laughed as well but Jisung was only looking at Jaemin.

 

The only thought going through his head was ‘Wow I want to kiss him’

 

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

 

Jisung was not expecting that. That hadn’t even crossed his mind before. But damn Jisung really did want to kiss Jaemin. Or be kissed by Jaemin. Or both. Yeah both would be great.

 

Wait what? Why was he still thinking about this?

 

Jisung shook his head in an attempt to physically rid his mind of his thoughts, but they continued to circle around in his head. When he realised that trying to not think about Jaemin just lead to him thinking about him _more_ , he sighed and just allowed his thoughts to go wherever they wanted.

 

Why did he want to kiss Jaemin? Did he like him? As in like-like? Was Jisung into guys? He’d never thought about dating before let alone who he would date. Maybe he was into guys. Or just specifically Jaemin because Jisung could not think of any male he knew who lived up to how amazing, kind and beautiful Na Jaemin was.

 

Wait.

 

If he was gay, how would the company react? Would he be kicked out of NCT? Would he be kicked out of SM in general? What would happen to him? Would NCTzen’s hate him? Would his members hate him? Would Jaemin, kind, sweet Jaemin, realise that Jisung had a crush on him and hate him for it?

 

Jisung started to panic, losing himself in all the ‘what if’s going through his head. His breathing became laboured and his eyes were wide, staring straight ahead. He pulled his legs up onto the sofa and hugged his knees tightly, burying his head between them.

 

His movements drew Jaemin’s gaze away from the movie. When he saw the position Jisung was in he frowned and immediately leant over to place a hand on the younger’s shoulder.

 

Feeling Jaemin’s hand on his shoulder, Jisung flinched away. He looked at Jaemin, expecting him to be hurt by his actions, but he only looked concerned.

 

“Jisung,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

 

Jisung nodded quickly and stood up from the sofa, gaining Renjun and Jeno’s attention too. “Yeah hyung I’m fine. Just a little tired so I’m gonna head to bed.”

 

Before anyone could say anything, Jisung turned and headed to his room, ignoring Jeno’s “but it’s only nine thirty” as well as Jaemin’s eyes following him down the hallway.

 

And that’s how he ended up lying on his bed, alone in his room, with all these dangerous thoughts running around in his mind. So many things could go wrong in his life from just that one single thought. But it was a nice thought. Jisung couldn’t think of a nicer thought than actually kissing Jaemin.

 

Okay. Maybe Jisung was just a little gay…or very gay.

 

This scared Jisung more than anything ever had before. It was scarier than the monthly check-ins when he was a trainee, it was scarier than living away from his parents, it was scarier than everything.

 

Jisung felt a tear roll down his cheek, letting it slide down his face and onto his pillow. Life wasn’t fair, he decided. With that in mind, he pulled his covers up to his chin and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung needs something to distract him from his thoughts

The next day was a Saturday. Normally Jisung would have a scheduled practice session with the rest of NCT Dream but due to all of his rehearsals for Dancing High, he’d been given some time off. It was a welcomed break even if it did mean he was alone in the dorms. It was awfully quiet but at least it mean there was absolutely no chance of running into Jaemin. Jisung had fallen asleep thinking about how him possibly being gay could ruin his career and woke up thinking about his favourite hyung and how handsome he was. It didn’t help that when he finally got out of bed (after all the other members had left) there was a note on the kitchen counter from Jaemin.

 

_Jisung-ahhhh. I left some breakfast for you_

_in_ _the microwave since you were asleep when_

_we_ _ate._

_Hope you’re feeling better than last night!_

_Rest well :)_

_\- Jaeminie hyung <3_

 

Of course he’d signed it off with a heart. Of course he could make something so small be the cutest thing in the world. Seeing it on the little piece of paper made Jisung’s own heart flutter as he smiled at the paper. His smile turned into a frown when he realised that Jaemin would probably do that for anyone. He was just a naturally loving person, no matter who was on the receiving end. Jisung wasn’t special to him. He sighed and shoved the note into his hoodie pocket, unable to bring himself to throw it away despite knowing there was no point in keeping it.

 

Jisung opened the microwave to find a covered plate of scrambled eggs. Taking a closer look he saw that there was cheese mixed throughout it, Jisung’s favourite. He closed the microwave and warmed up the eggs as he made himself some toast to go with it. While he waited he decided to go on his phone since he had nothing else to do. Seeing the time, his eyes widened. It was already midday. How had he managed to stay in bed for half the day? He must have really been tired. If it was already midday, that meant the rest of Dream would be home within the hour. Jisung definitely did not have the energy to face Jaemin, he’d need to go somewhere else. Maybe the 127 dorm? Saturday was normally the hyungs’ day off so they’d be home. Yeah. As soon as he was done eating, that’s exactly where he was heading.

 

As soon as the toaster popped, Jisung placed the slices on a plate and dumped the eggs onto it, not bothering to put butter on since it was a waste of time and he was pretty sure they were out of butter anyway. He took his plate to his room so that he could eat whilst changing. Sure it was a little messy and he got crumbs all over the floor, but Mark wasn’t there to complain and Jisung couldn’t find it in himself to care that much. He checked his pockets to make sure he had his phone and his access card then left the dorms, dumping the plate in the sink as he left. The 127 dorm was only a two minute walk, but Jisung still took the precaution of wearing a face mask and hat. None of them had ever been spotted going to the different dorms but it wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. The last thing any of them wanted was someone finding out where they lived and breaking into the place. Jisung had heard too many horror stories from Johnny about how EXO suffered with sasaeng fans. Keeping his head down, he walked as fast as he could without drawing too much attention to himself.

 

Arriving at the 127 dorm, Jisung rang the bell and not long after the door opened, revealing Taeil, still in his pyjamas.

 

“Jisung? What are you doing here?”

 

Maybe he should have texted ahead to let them know he was coming. Too late now. “I was bored at the dorms so I came over. Sorry for not texting ahead hyung.”

 

Taeil smiled and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Jisung slipped off his shoes and followed Taeil into the apartment who went directly back to his room. The dorm was slightly larger than the Dream dorms, with a bigger living room and more kitchen space. The bedrooms were pretty much the same size though. Seeing Jaehyun on the sofa watching some drama, Jisung plopped himself down next to him. They were close before, but after becoming roommates in Japan, they had become a lot more comfortable with each other.

 

Jaehyun smiled at the younger as Jisung placed his feet on his lap. “Make yourself at home why don’t you.”

 

“Okay.” Jisung agreed as he lay down on the sofa completely. “Thanks hyung.”

 

“Brat.” Jaehyun playfully flicked Jisung’s leg. “How come you’re here?”

 

Jisung kept his eyes on the tv. “I was bored. Everyone else went to practice.”

 

Jaehyun paused for a second. “Don’t they finish at one though? That’s in like, 20 minutes.”

 

“Oh. I didn’t realise.” Jisung laughed a little, hoping to not seem all that suspicious.

 

“Somehow I don’t believe you.”

 

He couldn’t let Jaehyun know that the only reason he came was to avoid Jaemin. That he was avoiding Jaemin because apparently he had a crush on him, and having a crush on Jaemin came with the realisation that he could be gay, and possibly being gay had way too many repercussions on him as an idol. Avoiding Jaemin was the easiest way to not think about all of that. But now he was anyway, so his plan didn’t exactly work out all that well.

 

“Hello? Earth to Jisung?”

 

Right. Jaehyun was still there. Sighing, Jisung turned his head from the tv to look at the older. “I needed something to distract me. Too many thoughts in my head. You know what I mean hyung?” It was close enough to the truth to not be a complete lie.

 

Hearing this, Jaehyun frowned slightly, concern on his face. “You want to talk about it?”

 

Jisung cringed. “Do I have to?”

 

It was Jaehyun’s turn to sigh now. “Not really no. But if you do need to talk about whatever’s in your head, you know you can come to hyung, right?”

 

Jisung smiled. “I know, thanks hyung.”

 

Most of the time when Jisung needed to talk to someone, he would talk to one of the other Dream members (most likely Mark) or he would try to find Taeyong. It was nice to know that there were other members he could come to as well. Whilst it didn’t always feel like it, they were still all in the same group and had been through the same things. Maybe not all of them were currently going through an identity crisis but, in some ways, they could all relate. Relate to fearing others opinions, worrying about the company and worrying about each other. Jisung trusted Jaehyun to not judge him for his concerns, but he was far from ready to openly talk about it. Knowing that he was there was more than enough for now.

 

“So hyung, what are your plans for your day off?” Jisung asked. It was obvious that he was changing the topic, but Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind.

 

“It’s not exactly a day off for me. Johnny hyung and I have NCT night night to do. So I’m just chilling before I have to get ready.”

 

Jisung nodded. “I forgot about that. You have it tomorrow to right? It must be tiring.”

 

Jaehyun considered this for a moment. “Yeah it can be tiring, but it’s a lot of fun. It’s nice being able to actually talk about music seriously. A lot of fans send in comments too so we can directly talk to them and give advice.”

 

Jisung perked up at this. “Advice? Like what?”

 

“Different things. Someone once asked what she should wear to a picnic. Another person asked how to tell his parents that he wanted to go to university in a different country. Johnny hyung and I do our best to give actual helpful answers most of the time, especially if it’s a serious concern.”

 

“Sounds nice.” Jisung said softly, somewhat lost in his thoughts.

 

“Do you ever listen to the show?”

 

“Sometimes?” Jisung smiled sheepishly at Jaehyun, who clearly didn't believe him. “Okay I used to a lot but not as much anymore.”

 

Jaehyun brought his hand to his chest dramatically and fell back on the couch. “My own member, my youngest dongsaeng, how dare you do this to me? I can’t believe this disrespect.”

 

Jisung laughed as he sat up and pushed Jaehyun, momentarily forgetting all his worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....this took a while to update....hehe
> 
> Sorry to anyone who was waiting for an update! (though I doubt anyone was)
> 
> I kind of wrote this all in one sitting so idk how good it actually is and if there are any mistakes
> 
> Enjoy though!!!
> 
> <333

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to @jisungsmochi for this idea <3
> 
> This actually went a completely different direction to what I thought it would but we'll see what happens I guess
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!


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